Embody Your Ecstasy
by Caroline Muir and Joan Heartfield, Ph.D.
Sounds great, but what exactly does it mean? Working for a living and the demands of life hardly seem to leave time or energy for ecstatic states of being, and in this culture, people don’t seem to be naturally good at being happy. It’s almost more in style to complain or focus on what isn’t working in our life rather than what is a source of joy.
How many conversations do you have in one day in which you ask someone how they are, and then you are a sounding board for all of their problems? Where does this tendency to complain come from? It appears to be culturally inherited. We hear it all around us. Fortunately, it’s in our ‘software’ rather than our ‘hardware’.
Ecstasy, or joy, is in our ‘hardware’—it is our birthright. As babies, we smile and laugh at apparently nothing. Joy bubbles up from a well within our own hearts. Have you ever caught yourself walking down the street or into the market being aware of a smile on your face for no particular reason from an authentic place inside yourself? We all have the capacity to tap into this place of “happy for no reason”.
Each moment of ‘right now’ can be thoroughly claimed– with the intention to do so. It requires us to notice when we find ourselves in unconscious patterns of worry, complaining, or anxiety. We must bring our attention into our bodies, connect to our breath, and have in mind what it is we wish to affirm in the now.
Caroline says, “I have a volume control inside of my heart just like the one on your stereo. When I notice that I am getting too serious or too rushed or too intense, I drop into an image of that volume control and turn it up! The smile returns to my face, my pace slows into an easy glide from a hurried push, and the moment is all there is.”
Joan suggests, “I’ve noticed the difference between what I call “real feelings” which help me discover what I need in this moment, and “static patterns” such as anxiety or worry. When I notice I’ve dropped into the latter, I use an affirmation to replace the “static pattern”. Currently I’m using, ‘I am radiantly healthy, happy, and peaceful.’ That simple sentence brings me back to the present and I feel my natural joy once again.”
We are the only ones who can truly make ourselves happy. Our attitude is the secret behind our thoughts. Fear and worry are like jealous lovers, always competing for our attention. The news and newspapers will immediately give us something to worry about. Other people’s mental diarrhea is so easy to hook into and make it our own. There truly are countless things every minute that can steal us away from our joy and ecstasy. With so much coming at us in each moment—from the radio, the news, and the constant stream of media now on our computers, we are the only ones in charge of how we deal with this ever-growing wave of information.
It boils down to where I put my attention—internally and externally. I am the one who can change the channel (unless I hand over that control to someone else). Even if I have to listen, at times, to information that I’d rather not—I am still the only one in charge of what I think, say, and do.
The choice to embody our ecstasy is life affirming—and we may need to discover how we can be this joyful. We may wish to look at unwanted habit patterns of thinking that do not serve us and train our mind to think positively. We may want to discover our feelings and needs and find ways to communicate them more effectively. We may decide to put time into caring for our bodies in order to embody anything. We may wish to put more time into nurturing our spiritual sexual self so we amp up our pleasure potential.
We want to discover what brings us joy—and move toward that. It could include the simple joy of walking or stretching or breathing deeply. It might be catching the light in another’s eyes and smiling –or buying coffee for the next person in line as a random act of kindness. It may be planning a sensual session for our lover or mate.
There are many things that can put a smile on our face. Caroline reminisces, “I remember a moment twenty-five years ago when I was leaving a little-known Caribbean island after a week of blissful vacation. Climbing the steps of a small plane I turned one last time to look at the sky and palm trees that were the background for a shanty they called a bar at this miniature airport. The hand-painted sign over the entrance to the bar read, Love your enemies… it will drive them crazy. That message caused my natural ecstasy to rise as I laughed my way onto the little plane. My whole body grinned from ear to ear if you can imagine how that feels. I felt as though I were hovering above the masses, drinking in the heavenly love that was mine for the asking. I could have found ten reasons to not be ecstatic at that moment as others around me were grumbling about one thing or the other.”
Joan notices that the more time she spends appreciating the people around her, the happier they are—and the more joyful she is. “This is my spiritual practice,” says Joan. “I especially notice this with Tomas, my husband, since he is the person I spend the most time with. The more I focus on all the things I appreciate about him, the more loving he is and the more fun we have together. I have learned to tell him what I want, rather than what I don’t want—and it has made a huge difference in the quantity and quality of our enjoyment of life.”
If you have not yet done so, make a choice to replace the habit of complaining and worry with a choice to move toward what you want in life—toward your joy. Claim ecstasy right now for yourself. It is the pleasure of being alive… the delight we can have in the moment… the enjoyment of co-creating with life.
We at Divine Feminine-Awakened Masculine Institute are deeply grateful we have discovered how we can embody our ecstasy. Our joy now is teaching others how to give themselves this gift of aliveness. When the DFAMI team bantered about slogans, we knew when we heard “Embody Your Ecstasy” that this was the ultimate gift we could bring to those who study with us. It is the fuel for aliveness into an awakened state. We believe it is the ultimate choice for life.