Why do People have So Many Challenges with Love ?

Why do people have so many challenges with love?

I think that if we weren’t loved, really loved as children, we really have not felt really loved, then it is difficult sometimes to know what love is. We had perhaps the quality, if what we thought was love in our families, was really criticism or blame or various kinds of people, let’s say, saying things to each other that were not kind, then we do not have a model for what love really is.

What we need in order to be able to have love in our lives is first of all, we need to know that we are worthy of being loved. So if there is any part of us that feels like we are unworthy, and I have so many people say to me like, “in a certain sense I just feel like a worthless piece of shit”, so if we feel that way, if that kind of what is going on inside, then what is going to happening is that, we are going to see that somehow outside, we are going to be seeing what is inside of us somehow modeled outside of us. We are going to project whatever is in us, outside.

So, the first place to look actually is really what is going on deep within us, how good do we feel about ourselves, how happy are we as human beings just with ourselves, and how worthy of love do we feel. All of those things, and if we are really a loving human being and we really feel good about ourselves then we know that we have a lot of love to give and a lot of love to receive, then, most likely, love will come, then it is just a matter of finding the right fit, because love is all around us all the time, I think a lot of what we are really looking for is where is the fit?

So first of all, we have to do our own personal work and make sure we are open to love and we are not blocking up in some way and then we just have to be clear on what is the fit and who is going to work in my life, and keep refining that until it shows up.