The Heart of Love
by Tomas Heartfield
I was remembering my first journey into love at 14 when I felt l something much deeper than affection. It was a completely saturating feeling that demanded recognition. It felt like a force that reached into the core of my being. Was this love? I was trying to tell my first girlfriend that I loved her. I remember trying to say the words, and finding that my tongue felt like it was frozen when I tried to say ‘I llloove you’. A classic stretch moment.
At that time, I was so invested in my early masculine persona, that to actually love someone felt like a limitation that would hold me back from other possibilities. It was seen as a betrayal by my buddies, who had not yet felt that experience, and made fun of anyone who said they had.
I finally decided that feeling love was more important than what my teenage pals thought of me. For years, I reveled in ‘being in love’, but it was always tied to how a person looked, or how they saw me. The first time I was invited to look past the outer shell of a person, and even past the personality, I remember being astounded at the beauty I saw in the ‘plainest’ person. Timothy Freke calls this recognition of ‘love recognizing itself’, Big Love.
Now, it is easy to see the beauty inherent in each person. Beauty is not skin deep. True beauty is soul deep. It is the sunlight that removes all judgment. It is a soulful look, past our perceived differences, into the heart of one another.
The most beautiful people are the ones that can see the beauty in everyone. It’s actually a spiritual practice called tresspasso. We start all our ceremonies with it and it is the heart of Sacred Sexuality.
My deepest spiritual teacher taught me that the soul connects to the body through the back of the heart, and from there receives the over-soul light of the I Am presence. The light we see in another’s eyes originates in the heart! Seeing through the lens of our heart is an excellent way to remember and feel who we are, past our own personality preferences.
As we head into this holiday season with all its gifts and challenges, here’s a practice I want to share with you that I’m doing for my own spiritual growth. When I’m out and about, I am giving myself the gift of spontaneous recognition. Whenever I see a twinkle in someone’s eyes, I’m twinkling back, and see what happens. I am looking past every personality I see, and recognizing the oneness that wants to know itself.
So this beautiful holiday season, when the emphasis is on giving, give the gift of looking past the personalities of those you come into contact with. See their essence, and reflect that back to them. Seeing another’s heart makes them felt seen, and that’s the greatest gift you can give. It costs you nothing, other than your willingness to be present to the goodness of your own heart, and the goodness of their heart.
As Rumi says:
“Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”