The purpose of life is not to transcend the body, but to embody the transcendent. H. H. Dalai Lama
To write or not to write, that is the question. The unending and increasing amount of information streaming into all of our mailboxes shows no sign of letting up. More, more, more, faster, faster, faster! The evolutionary impulse seems to be fueling up at Starbucks with extra shots of espresso, pushing us to the edge of our ability to assimilate. The cultural trance, at first glance, seems to have everyone by the shorthairs, racing toward zero point, determined to know everything before it’s too late. Or is it?
As time is speeding up, we are slowing down, spending less time at our computers, and more time making dinner together, cuddling on the daybed, dancing tango, working in the garden, swimming, and doing yoga. We are finding more ways to savor the moment.
Being with good friends as they checked out during these past two years made us profoundly aware that we all will sooner or later be taking our last breaths. Through death we awoke more acutely to the preciousness of our time here on earth. We looked into our lives and saw aspects of how we were living that were not really feeding us. Choosing to be fully in alignment with our aliveness meant we had to make some changes.
How is Spiritual Sexuality enhanced by Heart Intelligence, and what does dying have to do with it?
Being with dear friends who were dying brought us up close and personal to our own fears of transition. Seeing how our friends did the big “let go” inspired us to dive more deeply into those shadowy places where we had closed our hearts to some aspect of life. We saw where we were not paying close enough attention to what brought us joy, and how we were spiritually bypassing emotions that we judged.
Heart Intelligence came to us right on time as we were grappling with our deepest fears, and gave us a way to track our conditioned thoughts, constricted emotions, and stagnant energy. We practiced connecting daily with our heart’s intelligence, which gave us a way to recognize what was truly alive in us. We cultivated more energy in our bodies by being conscious of what we did and said and thought, noticing how it expanded or contracted our energy.
We expanded our range of emotions. We stopped pushing away sadness and anger. We became more authentic. As we did this, we started feeling more alive. It became clear that the best way to feel at peace with death was to feel at peace with life as it was. We numb out to what we can feel in life because our relationship with death is diffused because of the defense mechanisms inherent in our ego structure. Hence there is a type of filtering in what happens in our lives that reduces our ability to respond authentically. It all comes down to this question. How would you live if you knew that at 12:53 tomorrow afternoon you were going to take your last breath? How much presence would you have in the next moments til then? These are theoretical questions we have all looked at. But the basis for true tantric explorations into the sacredness of life uses the reality of death as a source of fuel to take us deeper into life. It takes a bit of courage and a fair amount of work to live like there is no tomorrow. Being here now takes on a much bigger meaning filled with juicy possibilities.
We examined the work we had been teaching, and realized Heart Intelligence was a vital missing piece. Our twenty years in the sacred sexuality arena showed us how to raise our consciousness with Shakti, our sacred sexual energy. When Shakti is activated and we feel safe and open, we’re able to reprogram massive amounts of old conditioning. As you can imagine (or perhaps have experienced), this work is very powerful. It connects a woman (or man) to their creative juice. It also brings out things that are hidden in our unconscious.
What was needed (and missing) in the sacred sexuality arena, was an effective way to deal with residual shadow material. We also needed an integrated foundational practice that recognized and gave voice to the physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual and energetic realities that came with such powerful and rapid shifts. We needed a way to track what is happening moment to moment, so that we could identify and receive what we really wanted.
Two years ago we began to integrate the Heart Intelligence practices into our life and work. We stretched to learn close embrace tango. It felt like tango boot camp for over a year before we started to really get it going. We committed to taking our health to the next level with daily body centered exercise, be it swimming or yoga or Taoist practices or gardening. We committed to tracking and sharing our internal reality daily in addition to our sexual loving practice.
We started to see how we sometimes tried to push the river or hold back the flow, and relaxed more deeply into the truth in this moment. We started to feel and trust life itself moving through us, and guiding our moment to moment expression.
We love to do individual sessions, to help people recalibrate what is important in their life. From health and vitality issues, to sexuality and relationship challenges, to finding life purpose.
Because we are much more present to ourselves, the small groups we are working with have a new feeling in them. We love the juice that gets produced using the amplified field of group energy. When a safe container is created, and this energy is focused in the heart, it can take everyone into deeper connection with self and other. It is the fastest way we’ve found to produce shifts in consciousness: finding peace, where there was none; finding passion where there was numbness; moving through fear and pain and sorrow, into creative aliveness.
Now that we are no longer running an Institute, our focus is on creating Heart Intelligent community. We have a few small groups of people from all over the world we are coaching through go-to-meeting, as well as small events here on Maui. We are grateful to be connected to our aliveness and presence to life in new ways.
With expanding love,
Joan & Tomas